"The first rule of Fight Club is- you DON'T talk about Fight Club." Brad Pitt might as well have issued these same instructions to women all over the globe who have had miscarriages.
Here's the thing I've discovered in the last week. Almost everyone I know has joined the club- against her will. The club we won't talk about.
How do I know? Because, new as I am to the club, I said (with lots of tears) the "M" word, and women have hugged me and whispered in my ear. "I know. It happened to me too."
I get it. I do. Who wants to drudge up horrible pain? And certainly you don't want to mention it to a glowing, happily rotund preggo. Nope. No way. No Ma'am. It just isn't done.
Even as I write this, I'm thinking to myself. -Drop it, Liz! You don't want to be the one who can't move on or insists on talking about it. And even as I think this, I remind myself: You know what? My blog. My rules. And it's been less than a week.
And that goes for you too, Brad Pitt. How's this for a rule? I'll talk about "It," the "M Word," "Miscarriages" as little or as much as I want to.
Friends, sisters- and brothers, too!- it's okay! Life happens, and sometimes it doesn't deal you a solid. It doesn't persist in the manner you wish it would. I, for one, am willing to step out of the shadows and let the world see where life knocked me around a little bit.
So if you want to have that conversation, then pull up a chair. I'm not going to cry on your shoulder- or maybe I will, who knows? But I'm willing to listen to your story and to acknowledge every craggy step you've had to climb to get to where you are today.
Let's face it. Sometimes those steps knock us on our ass. -But I've never had one knock me out.
Fight Club, Indeed.
4 comments:
You are inspiring Liz! You brought me to tears. You have every right to talk about it. I think it's really healthy to express your feelings on the matter.
Although I have never had a miscarriage (to my knowledge), I had/have similar feelings about my adoption, although two VERY different situations, both are loss.
I'm sorry Liz. I wished I was closer, so we could talk and let the kids play. Maybe one day? Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they've been very helpful to me and I AM sure to everyone who has seen/heard them.
Deb-
Way to be strong Liz, I too cried but admire your spunk!
I can relate in a sense but my word is infertility - so some day let's chat about the words we aren't supposed to say!
Hang in there, keep up the spunk and do what you need to do to move forward but for some reason I know you will do great!
Liz,
Yes, this is sad but true. You are inspirational though in your willingness to get right back up and not let this defeat your spirit!
Beth
You have every right to share your thoughts and feelings Lizzy... we all keep coming back because we want to share your life with you! I can't imagine it is something you can get over in a weeks time, so hang in there, and do whatever it takes to keep on keepin on! Know that we all love you :)
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