Scattered Much?

The other day I was talking with Bob, and he made an excellent observation:
"I think once you start the school year, you'll find that your life is more focused- and you won't have time to spread yourself too thin."
Now- this might not make sense to anyone else. It seems like when the school year is in session I would be more frenzied, instead of less.
Yes and No.
Consider this: since moving to Kansas, we worked feverishly, crazily, balls-to-the-wall-y to get settled into our house. The results: our home is lovely, and it feels very much like we've lived here for years. Done and done.
Next up: have ourselves a baby. Now, most of the hard work was already done. Sabine was only 7 weeks from being born when we moved into our house. All we had to do was get settled, find a birthing center, and go through labor. The results: Sabine had the birthing experience I've dreamed of my entire life: naturally born, unmedicated, on a (real, not hospital) bed surrounded by people I love more than anything.
Done and done.
Next up: Ummmm... there was a yawning expanse of possibilities. Some of the options that pinged around my head: stay at home and write and mother, teach Language Arts at Leavenworth High School, try to stay sane as Bob was gone for the entire month of June, keep some semblance of order in my house and laundry, and- uh, what about query letters? And damnit, why can't I get my body to run FASTER? Huh... CrossFit looks fun. Oh, we're out of peanut butter.
I couldn't calm my thoughts and put them into a plan, because I didn't know what to do or how to get there.
But things are falling into place.
Yesterday Sabine turned 12 weeks old, which in itself is astonishing. How can that much time have passed so quickly? And I feel it also explains some of the weirdness... hormones. They're a mo-fo.

So the plan is this:
Teach Language Arts at Leavenworth High School. My boxes of stuff are in my classroom, but it's not set up. My Kansas license is applied for, but not finalized. THE AGONY! C'mon already, I'm ready to start getting my life into a rhythm. But I'm afraid of losing this baby time with Sabine. THE GUILT!

The girls are starting full time CYS (on-post daycare) on Monday. Well, actually, Margot is starting full time. I'm not sure how much Sabine will go in the next two weeks. Enough for me to get my classroom set up and write some query letters...

I have two and a half weeks ahead of me before I have to start going to Leavenworth School District meetings. The girls will be in school, and this allows me the time to: figure out how to pump the right amount of milky for Sabine to take to school with her. Run at the gym each day. And query literary agents. It's been strangely thrilling to have Bob ask me when I plan to start writing my next book. Say what?! The man believes in me! Then yesterday I mused that I might re-read the Harry Potter books during the next two and a half weeks. In silence. Bliss... until my biggest fan said, "What about your query letters?" Right. Yes, of course I'll get those written.

But first I must re-read my novel. You know, to get the juices flowing. To revive my confidence. To ensure I don't write a letter that sounds like this:
Dear Agent,
I wrote a pretty good book that you really need to take a look at. Thanks in advance. Smiley face.

And did I mention my running is not what it used to be before I gave birth? I know that must come as a shock. Why the hell not, you might be asking yourself. It's the question I'm asking, too. And I'm attempting to beat my body into submission with CrossFit. Which is torturous in a way that makes you humbly say, "Thank you, sir; may I have another?" whilst kneeling in your own feces, handcuffed, and blindfolded. I don't know why it appeals to me, but it does. Don't judge me.

So that's where I am right now:
Mothering every minute, running as many hours as I can, finding time to re-read my novel, write query letters, move into my classroom, prepare for the first week of school- and hoping desperately the state of Kansas doesn't pull a fast one in the eleventh hour.

And one day, when all the above has been nailed down, then I will brew myself a lovely cup of coffee, sit down and write the first sentences to my newest novel (which are solidified in my head)... and all will be right in the world.
But for now... I really do think we're out of peanut butter.